Little Red Riding Hood

Substitute teaching in the elementary grades can be very interesting. Once while subbing for a kindergarten teacher in a very Christian school, I was asked to read the story of "Little Red Riding Hood" to the class.

The little ones all sat on the floor around my big rocking chair while I read the story as follows: Little Red Riding Hood was tripping along through the forest on the way to grandmother's house. Hiding behind her in the woods was the big bad wolf".

Suddenly one little kindergarten child with a huge frown on his face said loudly, "I don't like that BIG BAD wolf"!

I continued to read the story. When I got to the part where the wolf arrived at grandmother's house ahead of Little Red Riding Hood, the frowning one stood and said in a louder voice, "I still don't like that big, bad wolf"! I continued to read.

"The wolf found grandmother in bed, and she said, "My goodness, what big eyes your have" - "The better to see you with, grandmother", the wolf said. Then she said, "My, what big ears you have" - "The better to hear you with" he said. Then she said, "My, what big teeth you have, grandmother" - "The better to eat you with, grandmother" - AND HE ATE GRANDMOTHER".

At this time, the scowling little kindergartner jumped up and loudly screamed,  "I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T LIKE THAT SUM'-BITCH!"